Murphy’s Laws for Teaching

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  • The clock in the instructor’s room will be wrong.
  • Disaster will occur when visitors are in the room.
  • A subject interesting to the teacher will bore students.
  • The time a teacher takes in explaining is inversely proportional to the information retained by students.
  • A meeting’s length will be directly proportional to the boredom the speaker produces.
  • Students who are doing better are credited with working harder. If children start to do poorly, the teacher will be blamed.
  • The problem child will be a school board member’s son.
  • When the instructor is late, he will meet the principal in the hall.
  • If the instructor is late and does not meet the principal, the instructor is late to the faculty meeting.
  • New students come from schools that do not teach anything.
  • Good students move away.
  • When speaking to the school psychologist, the teacher will say “weirdo” rather than “emotionally disturbed”.
  • The school board will make a better pay offer before the teacher’s union negotiates.
  • The instructor’s study hall be the largest in several years.
  • The administration will view the study hall as the teacher’s preparation time.
  • Clocks will run more quickly during free time.
  • On a test day, at least 15% of the class will be absent
  • If the instructor teaches art, the principal will be an ex-coach and will dislike art. If the instructor is a coach, the principal will be an ex-coach who took a winning team to the state.

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