Murphy’s Law of Middle Management

man in suit for article Murphys law of middle management

For the Suits

  1. Upper Management is clueless. Get over it.
  2. Change is the norm.
  3. Shit rolls downhill until it gets to you
  4. All applicants will work overtime and off shifts. That is why they are applicants.
  5. Upper management’s job is to screw things up. Yours is to unscrew them.
  6. Do not volunteer for an assignment with someone dumber than you.
  7. Upper management only has good ideas.
  8. Hire people smarter than you. It shows you are smarter than them.
  9. If you change your mind, your plans, and your message, often enough, you will get promoted.
  10. If you do a really good job, your boss will get a larger bonus.
  11. According to HR, you are guilty until proven innocent.
  12. Bad news travels faster than good news. Package your communications carefully.
  13. Remember, you are being groomed.
  14. Dress for success. Khaki goes with anything.
  15. Always embellish when telling your boss how smart he is. Flattery will get you everywhere.
  16. Sub-par performance is only good in golf.
  17. Fixing blame vs. fixing problems improves your chances of getting promoted.
  18. If your direct reports love you, upper management won’t.
  19. If upper management loves you, your direct reports won’t.
  20. If it is stupid but works, it is not stupid.
  21. You are not Einstein. Keep it simple, easy, and fast.
  22. Complex, difficult, and slow is a prerequisite for senior management.
  23. If you have too much integrity, you are probably not promotable.
  24. Dog and pony shows are for humans.
  25. The fat lady never sings.
  26. Grip and Grin = Grin and Bare it.
  27. Murphy was a Middle Manager.

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