For the Suits
- Upper Management is clueless. Get over it.
- Change is the norm.
- Shit rolls downhill until it gets to you
- All applicants will work overtime and off shifts. That is why they are applicants.
- Upper management’s job is to screw things up. Yours is to unscrew them.
- Do not volunteer for an assignment with someone dumber than you.
- Upper management only has good ideas.
- Hire people smarter than you. It shows you are smarter than them.
- If you change your mind, your plans, and your message, often enough, you will get promoted.
- If you do a really good job, your boss will get a larger bonus.
- According to HR, you are guilty until proven innocent.
- Bad news travels faster than good news. Package your communications carefully.
- Remember, you are being groomed.
- Dress for success. Khaki goes with anything.
- Always embellish when telling your boss how smart he is. Flattery will get you everywhere.
- Sub-par performance is only good in golf.
- Fixing blame vs. fixing problems improves your chances of getting promoted.
- If your direct reports love you, upper management won’t.
- If upper management loves you, your direct reports won’t.
- If it is stupid but works, it is not stupid.
- You are not Einstein. Keep it simple, easy, and fast.
- Complex, difficult, and slow is a prerequisite for senior management.
- If you have too much integrity, you are probably not promotable.
- Dog and pony shows are for humans.
- The fat lady never sings.
- Grip and Grin = Grin and Bare it.
- Murphy was a Middle Manager.