The shortest distance between 2 points is by 4X4. Mud pools are always deeper than they appear. The winch of a 4X4 is always just a little too short to reach a good hold. Mud tends to go where you do not want it to go… You will blow a tire when in the middle …
The red light is always longer than the green one. On a two-lane road, there will be no oncoming traffic if there is a solid line. As soon as you are allowed to pass, there is only oncoming traffic. The louder the car alarm, the more likely everyone but the owner will hear it. The …
The car dealer always works up a great payment plan for the car they know you need but can’t afford. Your Car Keys are always in the pocket of the hand that is fullest. Your child will fall asleep in the car 5 minutes before you arrive at your destination. A flat will occur during …
The clock in the instructor’s room will be wrong. Disaster will occur when visitors are in the room. A subject interesting to the teacher will bore students. The time a teacher takes in explaining is inversely proportional to the information retained by students. A meeting’s length will be directly proportional to the boredom the speaker …
Being dead right doesn’t make you any less dead. The largest vehicle always has the right of way. You only get pulled over when you were just trying to make the light. When there are three other cars on the road, the drivers are drunk, and there’s no cop in sight. Hotrods are never seen …
For all of the instant millionaires You check the paper and discover you have all six numbers, but the newspaper misprinted two of the numbers. The Jackpot gets to $40,000,000, and the numbers match all the numbers on your lotto slip, but you forgot to buy your ticket. The Jackpot gets to $40,000,000, and you …
For those reducing their carbon footprint If it’s raining, cold or both the bus will be late. If you think you have lots of time before your bus arrives, you read the timetable wrong. If you’re early, the bus is late. If you’re late, the bus was early. If you do not change, the bus …
Sex has no calories. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. There is no remedy for sex but more sex. Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got. No sex with anyone in the same office. Sex is like snow; you …
It is better to have love and lost – blah, blah, blah All the good ones are taken. If the person isn’t taken, there’s a reason. The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them. Money …
For the curious Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. He who laughs last thinks slowest. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. The 50-50-90 rule: In a 50-50 chance situation of getting something right, there …